A Different Heart

My heart is different. I was hurt and I fell prey to the pain.

I chose to wallow and find every reason not to choose Him.

I’ve found myself in a season of thick wilderness. The walls I’ve put up around my heart are those of an overgrown forest. I feel as if I’m surrounded by trees so dense that they’re all I see for miles upon miles.

And yet, somehow, the light still pour through.

Through the wrestling. Through the tears, the anger, the hurt… I feel Him.

He still waits for me.

He wanted me, even when I didn’t want Him. Even when I told Him I didn’t need Him. He CHOSE me, even when I didn’t choose Him. He still chooses me.

When I refused to look for Him, He revealed Himself through those around me, every step of the way.

I did not experience one minute without love.

The severity and the beauty of that will never cease to amaze me.

Even when my pursuit is weak, and I’m wandering, He still loves me wildly.

I’ve always had the head knowledge, but I find myself relearning: He doesn’t always save us from the trouble, but He continues to see us through it. It’s not about being delivered from the trials, but WHO goes through them WITH us.

I feel that of a glass that was dropped, and shattered, only to find Him putting it together again. Not the same glass, now a mosaic.

My heart is different, but I am becoming.

Words by Aimee Bradleigh